On a campus where apathy runs rampant, everyone I know is gearing up to watch the most viewed sporting event of the year, the Super Bowl. In terms of Americanness, the Super Bowl is up there with Apple Pie and Uncle Sam. As much as we Cougars don’t care about sports, one thing that CofC students refuse to let go of is America.
Before we go on, I should probably mention that like my Charleston peers, I don’t care that much about football. I like the sport and enjoy attending games, but living and dying by the success of grown men playing a giant game of keep away seems a little ridiculous.
However, you can bet I’ll watch the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos duel to their frigid death in New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium this Sunday (or Friday… or Saturday).
In keeping with CofC’s spirit, here are my top five not football things you should care about for Super Bowl XLVIII:
1. The “will it or won’t it” question of the snowy weather.
According to my sources (CYN Sports Editor Jason Lutz) following the 2013-2014 Snowpocalyptour of inclement weather across America, the football gods decreed that Super Bowl XLVIII can actually be played on any day between Jan. 31 to Feb 3. Stay alert people! Have beer and nacho fixings on hand, ready to go at any moment! You don’t know when this game is going down. This is the first time the Super Bowl will be played outdoors in a cold weather state. The last time the game was played in weather under 40 degrees was in the ’70s. The “will it snow or won’t it snow” question is like waiting for someone to make a move on Downton Abbey: It’s ridiculously drawn out, but as soon as it happens you claim to have known it all along.
2. Sherman, Manning, Wilson, Upton
Okay, this is kind of about football. After Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman’s viral rant about the 49ers at the end of Seattle’s game last week, followed by a $7,875 fine, Sherman is getting more attention than Kate Upton’s dance in the end zone for Vogue Magazine. As far as actual football goes, the match up between Manning and Seahawk’s QB Russell Wilson is set to be dramatic. Both players are vastly different in the way they approach the game. Wilson is quick, and runs a lot, while Manning yells “Omaha“ and stays in the pocket.
Many people feel like the halftime shows are getting worse and worse as the years go on. Most of us are old enough to remember the infamous Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake double-teamed nip slip and the ensuing years of old men rock concerts that followed. Last year, Queen Bey caused the infamous black-out that delayed play for 34 minutes in the second quarter, spawned parody twitter accounts and made larger headlines in the days following than the actual game. Does Mars have the rocking power to shut things down? A lot of younger people aren’t sure, but there’s little argument that the Red Hot Chili Peppers will do anything less than kill it. Before you complain too much about Mars, only days after his second Grammy win for the album Unorthodox Jukebox, just keep in mind that you could be watching “Snoopy’s 40th Birthday” like they did at Super Bowl XXIV.
4. The Weed
Oh the puns. What were the odds that the only two states in the country with legalized recreational marijuana would play in the Superbowl? All math aside, the odds are not high (as a more than usual number of spectators might be). Because of the special occasion, Bud Bowl XLVIII lends itself to some incredible Super Bowl foods this year. When the THC-Hawks take on the Broncos, what kind noshes are you going to need to support your own Super Bowl?*
* The author knows that in the great state of South Carolina, marijuana is still an illegal substance. The author does not condone the purchase or sale of illegal drugs. The author also knows that she’d be lying if she said that no one imbibed.
All jokes aside, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said should medical marijuana be proven to aid the recovery of concussions and other head injuries, the NFL would consider allowing players to use it.
5. Ads on ads on ads.
Don’t lie. Best part of the day after the Super Bowl is loling about the ads. Heck, one of the best parts of the Super Bowl is live tweeting about the ads when you’re stuck pretending to watch football at someone’s house. Oreo won the Super Bowl with their genius black-out ad, but this year there were ads to advertise ads that you need to see during the game. (Do you feel Inceptioned by that sentence? I do.) So far one of the most exciting ad ads has been the one teasing a Full House Reunion.