After a thorough investigation, the National Bureau for Literary Research confirmed that Bill Murray is a real-life manifestation of Aslan, the mythological God figure of the beloved children’s books by English author C.S. Lewis. Ever since his first appearance on the wildly popular “Saturday Night Live” following Chevy Chase’s transition to feature films, he has become a worldwide, almost supernaturally gifted, sensation. As a current Charleston resident, Murray has appeared, or unexpectedly arrived, on numerous occasions at local bachelor parties, birthday parties and engagement photo shoots. This behavior very closely resembles that of the famed lion from the land of Narnia.
According to one of the books’ characters, Mr. Beaver, “He’ll be coming and going. One day you’ll see him and another you won’t. He doesn’t like being tied down—and of course he has other countries to attend to. It’s quite all right. He’ll often drop in. Only you mustn’t press him. He’s wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.”
Unfortunately, Murray could not be reached for comment. However, it’s safe to say that he’s off doing important things in the world. Rest assured he is galavanting across the skies spreading comedic cheer and blessing the most notable of events with his majestic presence. While some may be concerned about the nature of Murray’s forays into faraway lands, one can only hope that the words of Mr. Beaver from “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” ring true.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
The words of His Excellency, The Swamp Fox, are to be taken in jest.
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