Trump supporters protest Hospitality major

Supporters of Donald Trump on campus were seen picketing outside the Beatty Center on Friday morning. The protest began around 8 a.m. and lasted well into the day. Students draped American flags over their shoulders and brandished signs with slogans such as “Tourists breed Terrorism” and “Send Them Home!”

The Swamp Fox asked one of the students, Jackson White, to comment on why the protesters were focused on the Beatty Center. “We’re protesting the Hospitality and Tourism Management and International Business programs at this school,” he replied between chants. “It’s insane, our government just lets people in from all kinds of inferior countries and let’s them…like, walk around and stuff… it’s threatening our national security.” Fellow student, Amy Smith, interjected with “We’re practically giving away inside information. New York, Las Vegas, these are major terrorist targets. And we let foreigners walk around them and get a good look, everyday! Thanks Obama.”

Trump supporters on campus share their intelligent arguments on the disbandment of two Business School majors.

Trump supporters on campus shared their intelligent arguments on the disbandment of two Business School majors on Monday.

When asked what their specific demands were, White handed The Swamp Fox a manifesto printed on red, white, and blue paper. The heading simply read “America: The Greatest.” The proposed policies included immediate disbandment of the Hospitality and Tourism Management major, a public shaming of the entire International Business faculty, a mandatory relocation of foreign exchange students to the American Studies program, and restrictions prohibiting anybody but natural-born citizens from taking photographs or “breathing our air” in peninsular Charleston. “It starts with a wall,” asserted freshman student Rutherford J. Calhoun III, “and then we take care of the people sneaking in on so-called vacations. It’s appalling.”

Around 11 a.m., the ring of seething, chanting protesters migrated from the Beatty Center to King Street where they teased any passing tourists who looked slightly foreign. A Swamp Fox correspondent confirmed that some of those targeted included an olive skinned couple from New Jersey, a Cherokee family visiting from North Carolina, a boutique owner on her way to work on Meeting Street, and one of the College’s own International Studies professors; all of whom, unknown to the protesters, were American by birth.

When a passerby asked the group to comment on Mr. Trump’s approximately $7 billion net worth, much of it accumulated through hotels, hospitality services, and business ventures with Chinese companies, no one felt comfortable giving a comment. The crowd slowly dissolved, with muttered complaints about the liberal media and the international food in Liberty.

All words published by His Excellency, the Swamp Fox are to be taken in jest.

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