The ending of the most recent big-dog GOP debate on Thursday, Jan. 28, had many scratching their heads in confusion – why were Rubio and Cruz high-fiving and laughing?
At around 11 p.m., the two apparent “buddies” turned to the camera with shining eyes. “We got you!” they shouted in unison. The rest of the candidates, some attempting to jog and others accepting their age and walking at a glacial pace, gathered around the two friends. They all stood together laughing until Senator Cruz’s asthma started kicking in and he had to take a quick break.
When the other Republican candidates finally crowded in and Cruz came back, Cruz raised both of his hands, one still holding a baby blue inhaler, and exclaimed “Guys, you can come out now!” to others, seemingly offstage.
As the crowd sat watching in awe, munching on Raisinets and buttery popcorn that were suddenly offered at a pretty pricey four dollars a pop, Huckabee, Fiorina, Santorum and someone named Jim Gilmore, who no one seemed to remember being involved in the election, began filing onto the stage. Fiorina was laughing too hard to see and had to be calmed slightly offstage.
Arms were around one another as the candidates reminisced about how convincingly Carson played the ‘completely ignorant of anything going on’ character. Suddenly, a circular platform slowly rose from a hole in the back of the stage. Trump emerged with his eyes and mouth wide open in typical Trump fashion, and the whole crew on stage began cheering. Jeb Bush could even be heard saying “What a genuine, hilarious guy” about his (self-identified) third best friend. “He should really act,” mouthed the now calmed Fiorina.
Soon, Secretary Clinton and Senator Sanders strolled on stage. Apparently, Governor O’Malley was the only one who was not in on the joke, and was reportedly contemplating his life choices elsewhere in Iowa.
The moderators, Megyn Kelly and the two others who no one knows, were now on stage taking part in the general jubilation. Miss Kelly even admitted her new haircut was styled after her idol, Clinton.
“We figured we should probably stop before things get too serious,” said Governor Christie. “I’m sure most people knew it was just a joke –“ and continued, “I mean, seriously, a former surgeon and a celebrity running for president? Give me a break.”
All were laughing and chatting together as though it was the closing night of a Broadway show apart from Secretary Clinton, who was sitting in a dark corner with a look of coldness. She was later quoted – “That was the most fun I’ve had in decades.”