My brother has always been an odd character. From convincing me to spray Windex in my eyes because “It feels good,” to giving me “life-changing” advice, he has really grown over the years. From the point of view of Stanley McCloy, a 21 – year old with the maturity of a 12 – year old, there are actually many things to learn from his “statements of truth.” Here is the layout of the best-selling novel, Life According to Stanley, how to Live Your Life Like a True Badass.
Chapter 1: If I become President, the first thing I will outlaw is dancing.
I danced for almost 10 years competitively. During that time, Stanley despised it. Every recital or competition he had to attend was equal to the pain of a heart attack. As I continued to get injured, and always came home from rehearsals with new drama, Stanley had enough. He decided right before I quit, that if he ever became president, that would be it–no more dance ever. I laughed and laughed, but I swear he was serious.
Chapter 2: There are too many people on this planet, we need a new plague.
Stanley 100% agrees with Dwight K. Schrute on the Office, that killing off some people would solve a lot of the world’s issues. If the world was not so over populated, then maybe we would not have all of the social issues, political problems, or even murder rates (how ironic). In the grand scheme of things, it is not his worst thought out plan, but slightly terrifying.
Chapter 3: Style is not a thing, just pick up a shirt off the floor.
My freshman year of high school, my brother was a senior. Sometime during the year, he literally wore a plaid shirt with plaid shorts- I mean come on, of all things. He paired it with white socks and Sperry’s. When I asked why, he said, “It was on the floor when I rolled out of bed.” Therefore, this chapter would likely be one to two sentences. He would write, “What is style? Just pick up some damn clothes and throw them on. Nobody cares what I look like.”
Chapter 4: There is no comparison to Star Wars. None.
Ever since we were kids, Star Wars has been an extremely important movie to Stanley. In comparison to any other movie in all the centuries of mankind, there is nothing that compares to the life of Luke Skywalker. Now, do not get me wrong, Star Wars is amazing, but the obsession from my brother’s side is intense. If you want to fight him on this, he has some pretty strong arguments. I recommend trying, it is very entertaining.
I could make fun of my brother all day, but he truly is an awesome guy. From everything we have been through, Stanley has always cared for me (even if it is slightly passive-aggressive). He is an awesome brother, and he will be so successful in life. Keep rocking, Stan-the-man, and never stop.