More than skin deep: a reflection on the depth of love

Gifts like flowers have become synonymous with society’s definition of love. (Photo by Abigail Hutchinson)

Its 7 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and your alarm is blaring. Slowly, you peel open your eyes and the grimy ceiling of your overpriced apartment stares back at you, screaming at you to press snooze. Reluctantly, you pull yourself out of bed and begin getting ready. When you finally make it onto the street, the unpredictable 70 degree February air hits you and then you realize it. Today is the day. Feb. 14 has finally arrived.

Excitement, anxiousness, and nervous butterflies soar through the streets of Charleston as many awake to boxes of heart shaped chocolate wrapped up in flashy red wrapping paper. But all too soon, the wrapping paper will be ripped off, the candies will be eaten and for some, the substance of gift will be gone.

According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the need for love follows right after physiological and safety needs are met. Love is one of the psychological needs of humanity, and beyond that, somehow has the power to captivate us through years of romantic films telling the same old love story. The plot line seems to never grow old. While society spends today obsessing over the idea of love, many still do not truly understand what the word itself means.

Morgan Brewer, a freelance wedding coordinator, has had the opportunity to work closely with couples experiencing their own, real-life love story.

“Love is a very precious and intangible gift extended without expecting anything in return,” Brewer said. “With that comes security and value.”

Often times our surrounding culture cheapens the value of the word love by using it in causal terms. Over time, it has developed the role of many other

Wedding coordinator Morgan Brewer calls on us to remember the depth of love rather than just intimacy. (Photo Courtesy of Rune Jensen via Flickr Creative Commons)

adjectives used to describe how much we like something rather than how truly captivated we are by someone. Through many experiences in both her own life as well as through her wedding work, Brewer has learned immensely about the power of love.

“I wish as a student I would have had an understanding that love and intimacy aren’t the same thing and I wish I would have known its values,” Brewer said. “I don’t think I would have shared my heart with so many people, that I really would have held love as more of a prized possession.

As Valentine’s Day arrives, the date on the calendar seems to call us to little acts of kindness, from a short note left on the counter for someone to a bouquet of roses for a significant other. But Valentine’s Day should also serve as a reminder to society that there is intense depth in love, rather than just materialistic qualities and physical intimacy.

“My advice would be treat love with high value. Picture on your wedding day standing before your fiancé, could you say with a clear conscious ‘you’re not one of many, you’re one of very few or even, you’re the only one?” Brewer said.

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