A for Accuracy, F for Frights: The Witch Review

*limited spoilers ahead*

When I saw the Netflix trailer for, “The Witch,” I was set into the spooky Halloween mood. A young girl is seen playing peek-a-bee with a child – a scary enough thought – until when she opens her eyes, the child has mysteriously vanished. My excitement only grew as I read its reviews. It received a 91 percent approval rating on rotten tomatoes and an average of a 7.8/10, a relatively high number for the horror genre. It was also the product of a newfound writer and director Robert Eggers. It was just icing on the cake when it was given the King stamp of approval when he tweeted, “The Witch” scared the hell out of me. And it’s a real movie, tense and thought-provoking as well as visceral”. I popped a fresh bag of popcorn and sat down, ready to be terrified by the time the 93 minutes were up.

Unfortunately, by the time the movie ended I was left disturbed, but not in the fun way. The plot was increasingly hard to follow because it was spoken in the way Puritans spoke. It read like an old shakespearean play that made me try to hard to translate I never had the chance to get scared. I understand that they were trying to tie in the realities of Puritan life as well as the pure terror they felt at going away from God, but it read too serious and I often found myself losing interest.

Scares were limited throughout and those that existed were just a little too twisted when it shows the murder of a naked baby by a naked old figure. One of the biggest scares for me wasn’t even meant to be a scare  – it was the incestual relationship that existed between the brother, Caleb and sister Thomasin. I was often very unclear between the relationships of certain characters and was disturbed by what I can only hope were misinterpretation. When the end finally did arrive, it was not satisfying at all. It was a happy ending which is not my favorite choice that a director can make for a horror movie. I am only one opinion and encourage all to give the movie a watch. I mean, whose opinion are you going to consider more – me or Stephen King?


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Morgan Galvez is an avid thrift shopper and staff writer for CisternYard news. She is a senior majoring in english with a minor in history. When not at The College, Morgan calls North Myrtle Beach home.

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